Summer joke thread........... - Tile Advice

[macten]

Happy birthday Madonna

 

[macten]

Oh no!

They’re closing down my local scaremongers.



Ha ha, not really.

 

[Two-Trowels]

A Pikey girl is getting advice from mother the night before her wedding.

''Your husband will want to put his favorite thing where you wee'' she says.

After thinking a moment the girl replies,

''why would he want to put his best tarmac rake in the sink?''

 

[Unused Account 1]

A guy goes intona spare car parts shop ,he says do u have a window wiper for a lada,he says thats a fair swap

 

[WetSaw]

I just sold my hoover. Well, it was only gathering dust...

 

[Andy Allen]

What key opens any door?





A pikey....

 

[Blunt Tool]

Can't wait for McGregor to dust himself down then call out Federer for 5 sets at centre court!

 

[Andy Allen]

A Man is hiding a pony in his garden for his daughters birthday.
His neighbour said you want to cover it in cheese.
Why's that said the man..

Because it's the only way to 'masc ar pone'

 

[WetSaw]

A young lad was watching his Mum make a cake. As she's mixing the ingredients in the bowl he needs to go to the toilet so he rushes off. When he comes back his Mum is just finishing spooning the mixture from the bowl into the cake tin.
"Mum, mum, can I lick the bowl?" the lad asks..
"No, pull the chain like everyone else" replies his Mum...

 

[Spare Tool]

Autopsy done on Brucie..
Apparently he died of a seizure, nice to seizure to seizure nice

 

[macten]

I've just been diagnosed with Agoraphobia.

Get in.

 

[Time's Ran Out]