PS - they said matting is ok with their u'f water heating but we didn't use theirs.....!
That is a complete cop out on their behalf. Either it is suitable or it is not suitable. There is no difference technically between their wet system and any other wet system in terms of what it does to the floor. That aside I think it is beyond dispute at least as far as the forums are concerned that Ditra Matting is suitable for use with underfloor heating.
That said I don't think that this would have been the route cause of the problem anyway. As previously posted in terms of resolution I don't think you have much choice other than to remove what is there and replace it with more suitable floor build up.
I guess it is possible to just take up the tiles and use a mechanism on top of the chip board to help reduce deflection such as Lewis decking or something like that but that would affect the overall depth and weight of the floor so would need careful design consideration.
easiest and quickest thing for me would be take up the tiles and the chipboard, Lift the UFH pipes if necessary, put in additional noggins as required and then start again. May be the builder should be dealing with this?