Funniest questions you've been asked by customers

[Tile Shop]

People say "Its only easy if you know the answer", or "if you have to ask, its not a stupid question". But surely a line has to be drawn somewhere.

On our ebay site we had a customer message in saying :
"I really like the Vesuvius Porcelain Wall tiles, but how are the fixed to the wall? Is there a backing you have to peal off?".

I had to answer seriously without a hint of sarcasm. Although I was chuckling for a good while.

To someone who has no clue about tiles or doesn't understand the concept of tiling or maybe even has never seen a tile before in their life, this may not be that stupid (bearing in mind that there are indeed self adhesive mosaics starting to hit the market). But it has made me think, what funny questions have you been asked that have left you completely lost for words, leading you to ask yourself if its a complete wind up?

 

[Dan]

"Since you've grouted the bathroom my shed light hasn't come on, why is that?".

Coincidence madam. Change the bulb. lol

 

[Tile Shop]

Once had a customer email in a picture of a box of tiles he'd just taken delivery of. He said it was the wrong one because he didn't order one with lines going across it and it was the wrong colour. Told him it may look better if he took it out the box and turned it over!

 

[Dan]

Heard that one before not sure if it was you that mentioned it lol

Nowt queer as folk.

 

[Tile Shop]

Its very common. Most of the time it happens where a pallet is being off-loaded from the lorry, and the customers beady eye catches the top lay and rejects it at first glance.

 

[Andy Allen]

Love the new tiles you fitted in the bathroom...... However when we shower the grout goes a darker colour....... Then after a few hours it's back white again.
Why is this?

Dohhh

 

[LauraCTW]

Do you sell that whats it called... that grout that goes between tiles but I don't know what it's called....... You mean grout sir? (wife behind him with head in her hands laughing)

 

[Blunt Tool]

100 square metres of 600x300mm porc, I had prices per square metre and very dear so do it on a day rate and builder said it shouldn't take you any longer that 2 days.
Tiler! Tiler! Why are you ignoring me and walking away, you can't do this, you will never work in this town again!

True conversation from last week!

 

[Dumbo]

100 square metres of 600x300mm porc, I had prices per square metre and very dear so do it on a day rate and builder said it shouldn't take you any longer that 2 days.
Tiler! Tiler! Why are you ignoring me and walking away, you can't do this, you will never work in this town again!

True conversation from last week!

Who was the builder to threaten you with that . Tony soprano.

 

[One Day]

Had a good one yesterday actually.
I had quoted for 40sqm of herringbone pattern floor tiles, size 250mm x 80mm - so a couple of thousand of tiles and hundreds of cuts.
I put a fairly steep price in (don't need the job) and she called me and after claiming it was a "bit expensive" asked this:
If I get you to do the hallway (another 9sqm) will you do it for less?

(Me) Err.... I'll have to think about it and get back to you!