Stupid things you've done after leaving the pub.

[doug boardley]

omg, just remembered this one!:yikes: Me and Mrs had been for a bevvy or two while I was on crutches (another broken leg!) anyway on the way back, Mrs had walked on ahead so I thought I'd take a shortcut through the graveyard, halfway up the path is an overhanging Yew tree... "Mrs is bound to come looking for me," I thought, " I know I'll prop my crutches against this gravestone and pull myself up this Yew and frighten her as she comes past!" I managed to get up the Yew... fell asleep in a crook of boughs, Mrs didn't come looking for me! So I lowered myself back down onto the cross shaped gravestone and then.... snap!:yikes: the flaming gravestone snapped in two!! I quickly gathered some flowers from a nearby recent internment and placed them round the desecrated gravestone, then hopped as fast as a peed up person on crutches could go!

 

[faithhealer]

omg, just remembered this one!:yikes: Me and Mrs had been for a bevvy or two while I was on crutches (another broken leg!) anyway on the way back, Mrs had walked on ahead so I thought I'd take a shortcut through the graveyard, halfway up the path is an overhanging Yew tree... "Mrs is bound to come looking for me," I thought, " I know I'll prop my crutches against this gravestone and pull myself up this Yew and frighten her as she comes past!" I managed to get up the Yew... fell asleep in a crook of boughs, Mrs didn't come looking for me! So I lowered myself back down onto the cross shaped gravestone and then.... snap!:yikes: the flaming gravestone snapped in two!! I quickly gathered some flowers from a nearby recent internment and placed them round the desecrated gravestone, then hopped as fast as a peed up person on crutches could go!

and you left some innocent glue sniffer to take the rap, shame on you.

 

[doug boardley]

and you left some innocent glue sniffer to take the rap, shame on you.

naahhh, I blamed the Caffreys rocket fuel:rolleyes5:

 

[strummerman]

Strumermans EX wife found over 100 dead rabbits in the bath next morning..that was funny....

OH!! and he fell down the back of a wardrobe after night out..pretending to be superman diving of the wardrobe into!! well they were naked , so guess the rest as to what he was doing but he had to smash the back out the wardrobe to escape...:lol:

for sum strange reason that wardrobe was never the same again:lol:

 

[Prem Tiler]

One night on leave I was staying at me mums. Came home after more than enough and hadn't pulled (I know weird or what!!) so I popped a naughty video in to the player sat on the sofa and started to make love to ones self.

Woke up about 8am trousers round me ankles tool in hand and mum was in the kitchen eating breakfast but she had kindly come in the lounge, ejected the video and put it on top of the tele.

 

[Deleted member 9966]

One night on leave I was staying at me mums. Came home after more than enough and hadn't pulled (I know weird or what!!) so I popped a naughty video in to the player sat on the sofa and started to make love to ones self.

Woke up about 8am trousers round me ankles tool in hand and mum was in the kitchen eating breakfast but she had kindly come in the lounge, ejected the video and put it on top of the tele.

:lol::lol::lol: class

 

[Rob Z]

One night on leave I was staying at me mums. Came home after more than enough and hadn't pulled (I know weird or what!!) so I popped a naughty video in to the player sat on the sofa and started to make love to ones self.

Woke up about 8am trousers round me ankles tool in hand and mum was in the kitchen eating breakfast but she had kindly come in the lounge, ejected the video and put it on top of the tele.

I had always wondered where your moniker "Love Machine" came from...now I know it was self-inflicted. :lol:

 

[grumpygrouter]

Re: Stupid things you have done after the pub.

You should always put some random numbers in the phone book first to make it near impossible to text when drunk, i've done the old drunken text with some better than expected results to be fair :lol:

I've also fallen asleep in my back garden before after giving up trying to get the key in the lock.

I never said anything at the time but when we went on the TF xmas bash last year i managed to bag a room to myself due to the odd number, after getting smashed and going for a curry we returned to the hotel and i fell asleep in the bathroom, i woke up with my toothbrush on the floor next to me, god only knows why i'd sat on the floor to clean my teeth. :dizzy2:

I had some quite funny pics on my phone aswell that i couldnt remember taking.

OOOOH! You kept that quite Oli, and I let you drive me to the station too the next day........