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Discuss In a recent survey of dwarfs (small people) ......... in the General Chat Forum area at TilersForums.co.uk.

  1. timeless john

    timeless john Moderator Staff Member Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    North East England
    ...6 out of 7 said they weren’t Happy!
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
  2. jcrtiling

    jcrtiling Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler TTA Member Top Contributor

    Location:
    Salisbury
    6 out of 7 said they weren't grumpy .
    Statistics depends who is paying for the survey depends how it get interpreted
     
  3. timeless john

    timeless john Moderator Staff Member Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    North East England
    Some say either some say ‘dopey’!
     
  4. Andystiletiling

    Andystiletiling Professional Tiler Top Contributor

    Location:
    Burnley
    Statistics also say that scientists have discovered a food that dimishes 90% of a women 's sex drive....

    Wedding cake ;)
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Like Like x 1
  5. callatiler

    callatiler Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    Aberdeen
    I was offered 8 legs of venison for £400.00
    I think that’s 2 deer
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 2
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2018
  6. callatiler

    callatiler Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    Aberdeen
    Got to get new glasses, checked into a [email protected] this week and said to the owner your sign saying all guests must be in bed before you? How the hell are we meant to know what time you go to bed? It’s says all guests must be in bed before 1 am he replied :confused:
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. impish

    impish Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler

    Location:
    Preston, Lancs
    My wife turned to me last night and said 'you've not been listening to a word I've said have you?!'
    I said, that's a funny way to start a conversation!
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  8. callatiler

    callatiler Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    Aberdeen
    I was swatting flys last night, said to the wife that’s 3 males and 2 females. Wife said how do you know that? Cos 3 were on the beer can and 2 were on the phone.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Waluigi

    Waluigi Top Contributor

    Location:
    UK
    A man sees a sign outside a house ‘TALKING DOG FOR SALE’

    He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" He asks the dog. "Yes!" The Labrador replies.
    After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story!" The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS. "In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years, But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired!" The man is amazed.
    He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid!" The owner says. "£10? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a lying so and so. He's never been out of the garden!"
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Creative Creative x 1
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 10, 2018
  10. Andy Allen

    Andy Allen Metro specialist & forum entertainer! Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    Gloucester
    Breaking News...!
    They have just discovered a new mummy in Egypt.
    It was covered in chocolate and nuts.
    They think it was Ferrero Rocher...!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. 3_fall

    3_fall Administrator. Staff Member Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    SW London
    This is a public forum people’s, mind the language!!!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. timeless john

    timeless john Moderator Staff Member Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    North East England
    :)
    See what happens when you let the plumbers in!!
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. 3_fall

    3_fall Administrator. Staff Member Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler JOTM Winner Top Contributor

    Location:
    SW London
    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  14. Albert

    Albert Trusted Advisor Professional Tiler Top Contributor

    Location:
    Gateshead NE8, UK
    That's an old one Andy i heard that on the 21st August 1976;)
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Andystiletiling

    Andystiletiling Professional Tiler Top Contributor

    Location:
    Burnley
    Haha you need say no more Albert..hope at least the cake was nice ;)
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
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