Your Invention

[whitebeam]

Non stick buckets (Teflon)would be my choice, how many plastic buckets are skipped every day due to adhesive being left overnight and trying to clean out.
What would be your idea of an invention to make a tilers life so much easier.

[Stan001]

…. What a cool thread!!!

My invention would be a laser tile cutter – you draw in your cut dimensions and holes on a little Palm type screen, you put your tile in and 30 seconds later it pops up like toast perfectly cut. (oh – and it runs all day on one 18V Makita rechargeable battery would be nice )

[Rob Z]

Tile that installs itself and then grouts itself.

[grumpygrouter]

Adhesive and grout that automatically mixes to the correct consistancy, batch after batch!

[Terry Cottar]

A little robot you programme and they do it all while you put your feet up and collect the cheque at the end of the job

tel

[Stan001]

Jedi Knight negotiating powers!

Stan: ‘good morning guys, everything with the words Mapei or Rubi written on it is 75% discount for me today isn’t it!’
Mr Tile Giant: ‘yes it is sir - absolutely’
Stan: ‘I’ll have 25 bags of Keraquick, 30 bags of Ultraplan and a TX1200N , thanks’
Mr Tile Giant: ‘certainly Stan, put your feet up with this coffee and I’ll load it all into your van for you’

[Rad2474]

Somthing you could just paint on and the substrate would be perfect to tile on whatever it is.

[jay]

being able to buy perfect tiles (size square flat) from anywere

[Oli]

Spray on tiles, they spray on the wall in liquid form then as they dry they return to a solid tile state, correctly sized and spaced ready for the spray on grout that smooths itself and then evapourates off the tiles surface leaving perfectly grouted joints.

[davy_G]

8 days in a week!

[dagger]

Self leveling plaster (one coat!)

[jamie B]

I reckon some one should do kneeler pads with retractable wheels (bit like 'heelies' the kids's shoes!..in fact we could call 'em 'kneelies'!!) so I could savemy bloody aching back from keep getting up & down when I want something from across the room!

[Oli]

Self leveling plaster (one coat!)

[dagger]

i have seen that video before!, looks great but where can you buy it!

[Oli]

I've got some i can sell you, its £25 for a 25kg bag, but its so popular ive had to disguise it as thistle multi to deter theives.

[dagger]

I've got some i can sell you, its £25 for a 25kg bag, but its so popular ive had to disguise it as thistle multi to deter theives.

ooohhh! do they do that in B&Q aswell?
there must be a lot of theivery there!

[Dave]

"A flip over tile saw.".....A nice flat bed one side with no arm in the way like some table plunge saws and then it flips over for mitres and compound mitres...just like what k/fitters use but for tilers.

That would be a TRUE invention and make a comp many pennies.

[Oli]

I do mail order if you like, i just need your account number, sort code and password.....

[dagger]

I do mail order if you like, i just need your account number, sort code and password.....

well my account number is 12345456 and my sort is 12-34-56,

bill me for 100 bags!, by the way you do look charming in that suit!

[jamie B]

"A flip over tile saw.".....A nice flat bed one side with no arm in the way like some table plunge saws and then it flips over for mitres and compound mitres...just like what k/fitters use but for tilers.

That would be a TRUE invention and make a comp many pennies.

Mark me down for one as soon as you go into production!..do we get a tilers forum discount ha ha ha!

[Bartlett]

My invention.... customers who don't think they know how to tile. Ridiculous I know, and it'll never happen, but it would be great.

[user123]

What a fab thread Whitebeam, and what great ideas!!

Mine would be ready mixed epoxy grout washable in water until dry...and it wouldn't go off in the tub...it could go on with a special grout spreader that would cause the curing reaction...

[garythetiler]

a magic wand would be nice

[Dan]

My invention would have to be some form of applicator that allows you to stand up and tile floors. Something that perhaps you'd load the tiles on-to and push along the floor and it spreads the adhesive mixed in a tub on the front and also slides rows of tiles down it and somehow presses them in to get perfect flatness and coverage. I bet if it was NASA making it, it'd have bubbles on it to geep the floor perfectly level, perhaps even GPS to workout where it's going and things working out where walls are and a cutter on it too doing it all for you. Imaging pressing an on button and watching it wonder around like one of those automatic hoover things you see.

Or perhaps that'd do tilers out of work. Pehaps the price of them could be quite high and you hire them out to your customers jobs or something and they just turn them on, when you pick it up your pickup your cheque.

Now that's outside the box thinking!

[Bolter]

Id like a new rule instead of an invention. I think it should be the law that if a plasterer/chippy/plumber or painter did a crap job, I would be allowed to tazer them until it gets sorted properly.

Painters are in there because I have a constant battle with painters to try to get them not to paint where I have to tile. As you can tell, Im pretty bored with scraping paint off walls

[Bartlett]

Id like a new rule instead of an invention. I think it should be the law that if a plasterer/chippy/plumber or painter did a crap job, I would be allowed to tazer them until it gets sorted properly

Ha ha, problem is that some of the decorators/chippys I have to deal with seem to work as though they've been tazered already. It wouldn't make much difference!

And how about a new bit of Health and Safety legislation that says a customer has to leave the house and keep out the way until the job is finished. So no more 'I really want it like this' when you know best.

[jamie B]

Id like a new rule instead of an invention. I think it should be the law that if a plasterer/chippy/plumber or painter did a crap job, I would be allowed to tazer them until it gets sorted properly.

Painters are in there because I have a constant battle with painters to try to get them not to paint where I have to tile. As you can tell, Im pretty bored with scraping paint off walls

don't mean to sound like an old fart, but most of the painters on my london site at the moment are so stoned all the time they just paint and paint and paint until it's hometime or their joint goes out! I've even marked areas out in huge letters and lines to find it painted over the next day....I give up!

[Bolter]

don't mean to sound like an old fart, but most of the painters on my london site at the moment are so stoned all the time they just paint and paint and paint until it's hometime or their joint goes out! I've even marked areas out in huge letters and lines to find it painted over the next day....I give up!

Normally I say to the site agent "are you positive that the painters know not to paint the areas Im tiling?" to which they always respond "of course!" to which I say "well if you are sure, sign this daywork sheet for me for my time scraping paint off the walls, and counter charge the painters"



I sometimes ask the site agent to sign a disclaimer saying that tiles may still fail as wall was previously painted and we arent to be held responsible.

[wivers]

IM gonna invent a portable toilet that folds down into my tool box.

Im fed up of ruining ggod buckets and staining customers bogs..... i'm gonna set to work on a mini portaloo with a cusioned heated seat.

Hang on......... its already been done!!! *******s nicked me idea..... looks good though.

[dagger]

IM gonna invent a portable toilet that folds down into my tool box.

Im fed up of ruining ggod buckets and staining customers bogs..... i'm gonna set to work on a mini portaloo with a cusioned heated seat.

Hang on......... its already been done!!! *******s nicked me idea..... looks good though.

NICE....but, nasty!
what do you do with it at the end of the day wivers?