Ohh No!

[wivers]

This morning myself and my cousin Luke who now works with me were finishing the grouting on a floor we laid yesterday.

Luke was wiping the floor off and i was runing some silicone down a door frame.

Now siliconing is not something i do often as i am cak at it and i get it all over me. well today was no acception.

Within 5 minutes of slicing the tube open i had it on my face, me hands, in me hair and on the dog...everywhere but where it was meant to be.

After about half hour of siliconing myself i was done and thought i'd nip to Asda next door to go about my "morning business", ( see previous threads for details).

Now i don't really like doing my business in supermarket toilets as most of them are full of mums doing their shopping, and as you walk towards the toilets you can feel them staring in a way that says " you dirty g*t, fancy coming in our nice clean ASDA without buying anything just so you can drop a packet!"

Anyway i managed to get into the crap coffin without too many mums throwing tins of beans and boxes tampax at me.

I finished my work and began to clean myself up.

On about the 4 th stroke i felt something tacky around the core.

I tried to wipe harder but i could still feel it.

I wiped even harder and nearly jumped through the roof when half of my curly ginger jungle ripped out onto the paper.

It was then that i realised that some of the 7 ton of silicone i had on my jacket had somehow found its way onto the toilet paper and was now waterproofing my man hole by matting avery single hair together!!!

I tried for about 10 minutes to get it off but i could see where it all was and i was in pain from the un wanted waxing i was suffering. How much bloody hair is up there ffs!!!!!!

Now don't ask me why i did this but at the time it seemed like a good idea.

I thought that if i could sneak out the cubical quickly when no-one was in the toilets i could have a quick look in the large mirror that sits over the sinks at how much more silicone was left up there....i know i know ....but i did.

Slowly i crept outa the cubical with me pants round me ankles and hoisted one cheek up to take a peek.

I could clearly see half a tube of the stuff stuck fast to the side of me man plug, but not content with the seeing it i began running the tap and trying to remove the stuff in the mirror.

Yes you can guess what happend next... and no i aint making this up.... mid pick in walks a bloke in a suit.... takes one look at me frowns and goes into cubical 1...the one i just came from.....the one that i still aint flushed and is choka block full o tissue and melted mars!!!!!!!!

Embarssed doesn't quite explain how i felt. I heard the bloke tut then he walked outa trap1 and went into trap 2 throwing me the most evil look on his way.

Anyway i just wanted to get outa there so i sorted meslef out and left ASDA.

I spent the rest of today walking like Dale Winton after a romantic night in and have only just managed to cut the stuff loose !!!!!

Damn silicone...never again i tell ya NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fred]

......the things you get up to.....................

[kimik123]

haha thats an absolute classic that one like wivers.

[Fred]

the things that happens to you................

[AllurePTS]

you're an animal wivers ....carry an emergency tube of Immac next time you silicone mate

[CJ]

Next poo you do is gonna have fun coming out

Hope the guy going into trap 2 wasn't your customer

[oldgit]

Pmsl.................

[BDS]

Thats funny as f***

[GirlRacerRed]

I'm sorry to laugh at someone else's misfortunes, but that was hilarious!

I've found that silicone doesn't stick to washing up liquid, so next time you need to use silicone, I think you know where to put the washing up liquid

[beanz]

The 1st time i ever used Silicone, it thought i'd got it everywhere... Clearly not!

[P'boro tiler]

lol! try using some washing up liquid with water and dip your finger in it but shake off as much as u can

[bigandy]

hope you used everwhite or think of the mold/mildew you might attract!

[pjc]

Wivs i better pop round and show you how to fill cracks and things with silicone properly

[jonash]

You found asda's new diy back wax kit,

[CJ]

With your ass Wivers, at least there will be plenty of ventilation. So at least the silicon on ya butt will not go mouldy

[Dave]

Please remember this thread is in a pubic section of the forum....watch those replies..

[Dave Ramsden]

lmao worth dayrate just for the entertainment!

[sWe]

Gawd... Dude, seriously, were you cursed when you were in your mum's womb or something?

I'm sorry if I'm stating the obvious now, but the essentials for siliconing:

1 roll of TP to clean your hands and tool with (no, not yer wang, in this case anyways)
1 water spray filled with 1/3 water and 2/3 fairy liquid (stirred, not shaken)
1 small bin for dumping excess silicone into
1 excess removal tool (if you've got nowt better, a (removed) spoon works...)

Spray the silicone after you've applied it, and spray your excess removal tool. Becoz it's you, spray your hands too. And you face, and your hair, and your ass, just to be safe. Now, nothing will go where it's not supposed to be

[BDS]

Spray the silicone after you've applied it, and spray your excess removal tool. Becoz it's you, spray your hands too. And you face, and your hair, and your ass, just to be safe. Now, nothing will go where it's not supposed to be

[doug boardley]

pmsl, at least you ot rid of some ginner hair!!!!!

[P'boro tiler]

ive bn tiling about a year now and today i finally did perfect siliconing with some speed. i used a siliconeblitz tool (the mid sized one). i applied the silicone as neatly as i could so to reduce the amount of shaping needed. i then dipped my siliconeblitz tool in a slithly soapy bucket and shoock off the excess. i then work from the bottom to the top slowly removign the excess and whipping it on edge of bucket. once its donw i then run my finger over it onvce very gently.
i think your pobably applying far too much like i used to

[P'boro tiler]

oh, my spelling wasnt very good there!

[user123]

Aah, one of the funniest posts ever..... read it and weep....

[hillhead]

Even after all this time i'm still laughing.. lol

[pjc]

he has been in the chat room tonight o dear

[newton&stockley]

me and the wife were crying with laughter reading that....

[Dan]

forgot all about this one.

[Bathfix Bob]

One of the funniest things I've ever read on the internet!

Didn't realise at first it was 3 years old, how did he get silicone up there? !!!!!

I have a metal picture now that I can't get rid of.........

[judge]

least your butts not gonna leak !!!

[wivers]

One of the funniest things I've ever read on the internet!

Didn't realise at first it was 3 years old, how did he get silicone up there? !!!!!

I have a metal picture now that I can't get rid of.........

It got onto the toilet paper from my clothes