what characteristics would your dream adhesive have and why. in this fantasy the prices will all be the same but what do you want it to do.

it doesn't exist yet, but nice and creamy and sticks everything, has a great pot life but very rapid setting on contact.

A powdered, cement based adhesive that comes ready mixed! (Or comes with a labourer to mix it!)

a ready mixed white S2 with an unlimited pot life that would cover 10 M2 per 10KG tub.

and sets instantly when you spray a special activator down the grout joints (like mitre bond)

one that sticks tiles to gypsum screeds after they have been down for less than 2 weeks and the surface being completely unprepared and un-primed....... unfortunately the guy I met yesterday couldn't find one either with the usual consequences.......

My ultimate adhesive will be low dust rubber crumb ultra flexible suitable for over board and ufh suitable to fix ceramic porcelain natural stone and mosaics to cement based sub-straights and gypsum sub-straights. With a pot life of a standard set adhesive and something like a spray activator to make it go of in 15 minuets after it has been applied to the sub-straights. It will be super non slip and it will come in white, cream, and grey.

smoth s2 qualitys with no limitations on substrait waterproof {as no need for waterproofing ) good pot life and can be sped up just by using warm water (without voiding the warranty)

It has to be soft on my hands.
Causes no long term dust inhalation problems.
Can be easily removed from expensive overalls.
Come in White (not dirty grey) or grey.
Be suitable for every type of tile from 1 bag.
Can get at least 6sq mts of tiling at 10mm bed from each 25kg bag.

Not much to ask!

Mixes itself, sticks like poo and sets on demand

I'm with tf and timeless